TheGoldRush will learn you good


Millions hoping to get lucky on New Year’s Eve

Millions of people are expected to descend onto the streets tomorrow night in the hope of an expensive night out, drunkeness, casual sex with predatory males and the chance of paying to get into pubs that are either half empty or filled with double the amount of Irish people as is normally allowed.

Whilst many millions of people are celebrating New Year across the planet, many more millions are hoping to get lucky with a real-life lady.

Bazza, 22, from Edinburgh says that New Year’s Eve is prime hunting ground for the single male:

Most girls will have been out drinking since about 6pm, so keep your wits about you, and keep your eyes open. As midnight approaches, strategically place yourself next to one or more females. As the clocks chime, dive in before she gets chance to look at your face. If she’s over 18 and under 49 then it’s all good.

New Year’s Eve is a day of great excitment across the planet — a day for alcohol abuse and one night stands. Professor Swartz has spent a lifetime studying the days of the calendar year and notes that December 31st holds a special place in the hearts of people under the age of 25.

It’s the day where the year number increases by 1. Who can’t get excited by that?


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Posted by on December 30, 2011. Filed under America,Europe,UK,zParody Fake Newsz. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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