After promoting Chelmsford from town, to city, the Queen has taken the unusual step of demoting Dundee from city to shitty.
Whilst Chelmsford celebrated their new title, residents of Dundee mumbled:
Aye, that’s just bloody typical English bastards. Another reason we need to leave them and join Iceland.
From now on, they will be known as The City of Chelmsford and That Shitty Dundee. Councils were already having to redo letter heads and change web addresses. From next Monday, all Dundee council emails will need to be addressed to @thatshittydundee.org.gov.uk.com.
In making the announcement the Queen highlighted the fact nobody had stopped at Dundee on the Aberdeen-Edinburgh journey for reasons other than flat tyres, and few had made it out.
She said Chelmsford would now be classed as a city, but should they do anything to lower their standards — such as build a Primark — she would have no choice but to take back the title and ‘burn the place to the ground’.
Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mail2pete/1561457921/