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Jordan promise not too torture Abu Qatada too much

The home secretary has defended plans to deport radical cleric Abu Qatada, saying Jordan has given its assurances they won’t torture him as much as their other prisoners.

In return, Britain has given its assurances we don’t really give a shit either way.

The UK has been trying to get rid of Abu Qatada for more than 10 years, ever since concerns were first raised regarding his beard. Both Libya and Saudi Arabia said they would be happy to torture him but the UK eventually settled on Jordan saying:

We were most impressed with their staff. Let’s see what he thinks of the infidels after a few years there.

Whilst Abu Qatada has previously said he hates everything the UK stands for, he is particularly fond of both our legal system and our social support offered to anyone with a scruffy looking beard.

Abu Qatada was first highlighted as a radical preacher after being arrested naked, drunk, shouting at the pigeons. A police spokesman at the time said:

He was really radical. No other preachers were doing that at his time.

Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hdude/2448644424

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Posted by on April 20, 2012. Filed under UK,zParody Fake Newsz. Post tags:,
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