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Goths could be extinct within 2 years

Scientists have predicted a decline in numbers for one of the UKs most depressing species — the Goth — which could ultimately end in their extinction.

The results of a recent study show that unless steps are taken today, people in long black jackets could be a thing of the past.

Goths first appeared on the British Isles in the 1990s and have been moping around town centres and bus stops ever since.

One of the original UK Goths, Miserable Gary, says that he has seen numbers fall ever since The X-Factor was launched.

A lot of the guys I used to hang out with used to confide that they quite liked Will Young. I think he just cheered them up and they stopped being Goths.

Other pressures on Goth numbers came first from their more passive-aggressive relations, the emo. As emo numbers rose, Goth numbers fell.

Gothomogologists have been warning of a decline in numbers for years. As more and more Goths found themselves having to join the rest of society in employment, they sadly had to stop wearing white makeup and dressing in black.


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Posted by on June 13, 2012. Filed under UK,zParody Fake Newsz. Post tags:,
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2 Responses to Goths could be extinct within 2 years

  1. Sean Reply

    June 13, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    1990′s was the third wave of goth. The first wave was the late 70′s. A stuff is fine, but check your basic facts. It’s still going strong, but I’m not sure that Emo hasn’t died already.

    • thegoldrush Reply

      June 17, 2012 at 2:04 pm

      Always trust goths over Wikipedia.

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