TheGoldRush will learn you good


Scotland to reduce drink-drive limit from ‘a skinful’ to ‘not that much’

First Minister Alex Salmond has announced he will be lowering the national drink drive limit, but has reassured drinkers weekend rules will remain unchanged.

The changes were put forward after a recent study showed reactions of a Scotsman were ‘moderately subdued’ after a four-pack of 9% Special Brew. The same study accidentally killed 4 Chinese nationals.

The First Minister acknowledged this wasn’t the first time a drink-drive study had been carried out on the subject, but said it was the first it was not done “by a bunch of English poofters”.

Under the proposed changes, drink driving would only be allowed if ‘completely necessary’ — at weddings, funerals, Friday & Saturday nights and on birthdays.

The changes have been met with some anger in Scotland, with opponents saying tens of millions will lose their jobs and billions of pubs will close down resulting in nationwide suicides of pub landlords forcing thousands of orphans to live on the streets. Supporters have counted these claims with “Whatever”.


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Posted by on June 7, 2012. Filed under UK,zParody Fake Newsz. Post tags:, ,
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