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Grace Jones wins silver in hula hoop singing

Grace Jones wins silver in hula hoop singing

Grace Jones has added to the USA’s huge medal total by taking silver in hula hoop singing, after only just beating The Quite Democratic People’s Republic of Saudi Arabia. There were some doubts she would be able to compete after she had double booked the evening to perform for Simon Cowell. After accepting the award, [...]

Kevin Costner found alive and well in Superman trailer

Kevin Costner found alive and well in Superman trailer

Friends and family of Kevin Costner have released a statement saying they’re hugely relieved after recent sightings of Kevin Costner have been confirmed as being authentic. Reports of the actor being spotted in the background of the Superman – Man of Steel trailer started on internationally renowned news source, TMZ. Editor, Tim Grey, said there [...]

Justin Bieber added to FBI’s Most Wanted list

Justin Bieber added to FBI’s Most Wanted list

The FBI have added fugitive Justin Bieber to their Most Wanted list after he failed to respond to an arrest warrant announcement. He was formally charged with paedo-chasing after running towards an old man with a camera that had been following him all day. Andrew Highbury, who spends his days sniffing celebrity trash and taking [...]

Coolio sues North Korea for ‘Communist Paradise’ royalties

Coolio sues North Korea for ‘Communist Paradise’ royalties

Coolio has said he will be taking the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea to the International Criminal Court to answer charges of grand theft musical, lyric piracy and “a general sense of un-Americanism yo”. Coolios complaint follows North Koreas refusal to answer to an extradition request for their biggest and only hip hop star Kim [...]

World praying next US President isn’t a religious nut-job

World praying next US President isn’t a religious nut-job

As the United States draws closer to the the voting play-offs, Iran has been leading world prayers that God doesn’t let one of his ‘special friends’ become President. This follows a week of news stories surrounding politicians and their religions. Obama began by confirming he won’t tell anyone he’s Muslim until he’s out of office [...]

Swedish anger after Obama pins Queen on Pinterest

Swedish anger after Obama pins Queen on Pinterest

Sweden have announced they are expelling the American ambassador after an embarrassing social media ‘mix up’ left the Queen of Sweden enraged. The diplomatic row erupted after the Barack Obama account ‘pinned’ images of The Queen of Sweden in an album named ‘Royal Milfs’. Pinterest allows users to bookmark images they find into various albums/boards. [...]

Ashton Kutcher to play Bin Laden in upcoming movie

Ashton Kutcher to play Bin Laden in upcoming movie

Ashton Kutcher has confirmed he will be stepping into the dusty robes of Osama Bin Laden later this year, in the highly anticipated Jihadi Way or the Highway. Bin Laden, who was shot in the face in 2011, was commonly known to be a big fan of Kutcher, even going so far as to send [...]

Hillary Clinton announces easing of sanctions against Bill

Hillary Clinton announces easing of sanctions against Bill

Hillary Clinton has announced she is lifting some of the sanctions that were in place against against Bill, with immediate effect. In making her announcement, Hillary praised his recent conduct, saying Bill was an inspiration to middle aged married men. Ever since that incident, I’ve had an enemy at my gates. Today, it is time [...]

Homeopathy offers lifeline to people dying of thirst

Homeopathy offers lifeline to people dying of thirst

People with made up ailments an diseases, such as alcoholism, were today thrown a lifeline by the mentals behind homeopathy, who claim their remedies might be the solution. The president of Homeopathy Club estimates that up to 6 billion people could be helped by homeopathic remedies. The main things we can help are fake diseases [...]

Dog The Bounty Hunter dispatched to bring in Kony

Dog The Bounty Hunter dispatched to bring in Kony

President Obama has said he’s despatched Dog and his team to bring warlord Joseph Kony to justice. Dog The Bounty Hunter, his son, his brother law and Dolly Parton have already left Hollywood and are en route. Tweeting from the plane, Dog has been updating followers: On the plane now. Am writing things like his [...]

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