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US troops withdrawn after governments fail to agree on how to pronounce ‘Iraq’

US troops withdrawn after governments fail to agree on how to pronounce ‘Iraq’

The last of America’s troops have been withdrawn from Iraq after last-ditch attempts were made to agree on how to pronounce the name of the country. The Americans have been present in Iraq for close to a decade but still insist on calling it “eye-raq”. Minutes from the last meeting highlight the clear differences between [...]

Putin fears opponents may have been abducted by aliens

Putin fears opponents may have been abducted by aliens

Vladimir Putin has released a statement saying the Secret Service are searching for 3 of his opponents after they were reported missing 48 hours ago. We are looking into their whereabouts. At this moment, there is no trace. It can mean only one thing — aliens took them. Putin put himself up for election after [...]

North Korea celebrates 15 years of ‘nearly having a nuclear bomb’

North Korea celebrates 15 years of ‘nearly having a nuclear bomb’

The Communist paradise of North Korea today celebrated its 15th year of hinting to the world that they nearly have a nuclear weapon. Chief Communist International Spokesmen for the Dear Leader, Mr Kim, said it was a wonderful day: Today marks the 15th year that we’ve been spinning the same lines to the international press. [...]

Syria announces nationwide ban on Pot Noodles

Syria announces nationwide ban on Pot Noodles

After a recent meeting of The Supreme Grand Council, Syria has announced a full ban on all flavours of Pot Noodles, possession of which is to be punishable by death. The move was taken after a study of Pot Noodle ingredients revealed they ‘contain absolutely nothing resembling anything natural’. A government spokesmen made the announcement [...]

George Bush becomes Special Advisor to North Korea

George Bush becomes Special Advisor to North Korea

George Bush has accepted an offer by North Korea to serve as a special advisor to its military leaders. Along with an $800,000 salary, the position also comes with a palatial mansion and even a new title — Most Honored Supreme War Monger. A spokesman for the North Korean government spoke earlier at a press [...]

Only 3 die during 100 hour Korean Starcraft competition

Only 3 die during 100 hour Korean Starcraft competition

The annual Korean Starcraft competition has ended after 100 hours with only 3 deaths. Kim Dae Woo, a 26 year old man from Seoul has been crowned Starcraft champion after a non-stop 100 hour fight against 2000 other hopefuls. After three challengers were found dead at the end of the tournament, organisers were quick to [...]

Shares in The Taliban up 19%

Shares in The Taliban up 19%

Shares in The Taliban jumped 19% today after they released a statement showing strong growth in the sale of heroin and automatic weapons. Analysts were not expecting such a large rise in sales and were left on the back foot when markets opened. Their leader, Mullah Mohammed Omah said much work had been done in [...]

NZ police crackdown on ‘weirdos’

NZ police crackdown on ‘weirdos’

New Zealand’s Police Commissioner has announced a nationwide crackdown on ‘weirdos and freaks’. The long-time chief of police, Robbie Ratahi made the announcement after months of rising crime rates in both urban and rural areas. After looking at the figures, we’re really concerned. Weirdo crimes are rising faster than ever before. We’ll be looking to [...]

North Korea’s Got Talent final

North Korea’s Got Talent final

Excitement is mounting in Pyongyang as the North Korea’s Got Talent final nears. Officials claim that 100% of the 25,000,000 population will be tuning into Friday night’s show as 2 finalists go head to head. The finalists are Kim Hyun Suk (Kim Jong Il’s daughter) and Lee Hye Jung (The head of the air force’s [...]

Bin Laden was “overlooked”

Bin Laden was “overlooked”

CIA chiefs now believe that not only was Osama Bin Laden heavily involved in ongoing Al Queda operations, but are also beginning to understand how he remained hidden for over a decade. Head of Intelligence Chad Eagle says the fact he looked like ‘a scruffy tramp’ may have led to him being overlooked. Long thought [...]

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