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Shot put gold medalist disqualified after grizzly bear DNA find

Shot put gold medalist disqualified after grizzly bear DNA find

Officials have confirmed they have stripped another gold medal from a contestant after DNA tests confirmed she was, in fact, a 400lb grizzly bear. The revelations came to light after…

Men take gold in Asking For Directions

Men take gold in Asking For Directions

Men have been celebrating through the night after unexpectedly taking gold in Asking For Directions. Women, who had been favourites, said they would be appealing the decision, and asked for…

Grace Jones wins silver in hula hoop singing

Grace Jones wins silver in hula hoop singing

Grace Jones has added to the USA’s huge medal total by taking silver in hula hoop singing, after only just beating The Quite Democratic People’s Republic of Saudi Arabia. There…

Britons praise Sun God by drinking topless in the park

Britons praise Sun God by drinking topless in the park

As the final weeks of August approach, and the British summer begins, millions are expected to make the journey to a nearby park to begin celebrations. Gary, God of Sun,…

Paying cash-in-hand is ‘morally wrong’ say millionaire UK politicians

Paying cash-in-hand is ‘morally wrong’ say millionaire UK politicians

There has been a cross party call from rich UK politicians to ask the British public to stop paying cash-in-hand for a reduction in the price of services. Politicians have…

Kevin Costner found alive and well in Superman trailer

Kevin Costner found alive and well in Superman trailer

Friends and family of Kevin Costner have released a statement saying they’re hugely relieved after recent sightings of Kevin Costner have been confirmed as being authentic. Reports of the actor…

Arab League warn situation in Syria could end up worse than Middlesborough

Arab League warn situation in Syria could end up worse than Middlesborough

Arab League ministers have again warned President Assad that if the situation isn’t resolved quickly, the country could descend into the levels of violence previously only seen in Middleborough on…

Census shows dramatic increase in the number of left handed gay gingers

Census shows dramatic increase in the number of left handed gay gingers

Politicians say that census figures show an large increase in the number of registered left handed gay gingers living in the UK. Minister of Peoples, Dave Ingram, noted that whilst…

Scientists find Higgs boson down the back of the sofa

Scientists find Higgs boson down the back of the sofa

The science community have united in celebration after the announcement this morning that the Higgs Boson had finally been found down the back of the sofa, with £1.74 and some…

Charity raises enough to take Plan B to theme park

Charity raises enough to take Plan B to theme park

A UK charity have said they’ve raised enough money to take Plan B to Alton Towers in a last ditch attempt to make him smile. Cheer Up Plan B has…

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