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Men take gold in Asking For Directions

Men take gold in Asking For Directions

Men have been celebrating through the night after unexpectedly taking gold in Asking For Directions. Women, who had been favourites, said they would be appealing the decision, and asked for…

Grace Jones wins silver in hula hoop singing

Grace Jones wins silver in hula hoop singing

Grace Jones has added to the USA’s huge medal total by taking silver in hula hoop singing, after only just beating The Quite Democratic People’s Republic of Saudi Arabia. There…

Rowing disqualification after midgets spotted below boat

Rowing disqualification after midgets spotted below boat

The French rowing team face disqualification from yesterday’s race after a line of midgets was spotted kicking their legs below the team boat. The team were performing far better than…

Army called in to protect Olympics from Bristol

Army called in to protect Olympics from Bristol

Over 3500 British Army troops have been called in to help police the Olympics after it emerged somebody had told Bristol about the summer event. The announcement follows a week…

Dogging added as reserve Olympic event

Dogging added as reserve Olympic event

Weirdos and Germans have expressed delight that dogging has been added to the Olympic reserve event list. Dogging was added as a last resort after a challenge from China was…

More disqualification shocks at Olympic qualifiers

More disqualification shocks at Olympic qualifiers

Fans of Eastern European female shot putters were shocked at judges decision to disqualify Hungarian Helga Skovenovich from the event. New rules introduced last year forbid any female contenstants that…